Radical Obedience

It’s been about four weeks since God told me to quit my job. I had no idea it would be this soon. I knew the time was coming but just not in the timing he told me.

I didn’t feel prepared. Prepared as in having 3-6 months in my savings, a backup plan, etc. I had about $115 in my savings to be exact.

He told me the Tuesday before Good Friday. I went back and forth about it, but I was sure he wanted me to do it on Good Friday. Good Friday night, we had a worship night at my church and I received confirmation from a friend who knew nothing about my situation. She said God told her I had been in a tug of war about something and he needed me to be obedient. Whew! The next day I found a sticky note on my floor that I had wrote to myself a while back that said “ If you believed that exactly what I saying is exactly what I mean, victory will be yours and I will save you a lot of sweat on the way. –God” Good Friday morning, I was trying to figure out ways to provide for myself, maybe go back to my old job, apply to new jobs etc. and I felt God say so clearly “If you have it all figured out, where’s room for me?”

Fast forward to where I am now, your girl has been struggling. Not struggling financially because the Lord is providing! But struggling internally. Feeling unsure of what to do in this season and it’s not because God hasn’t told me. God told me during this season I needed to rest in him and surrender all areas of my life but to be honest I’ve been doing the opposite. Whether it’s trying to find busy work around the house, scrolling on social media all day, applying to jobs I know he hasn’t called me to just to feel productive.

God told me during this season I need to surrender all areas of my life to him and he’s going to teach me to trust in Him. Not in a job, not in my family, not in a savings account, not in myself, but in Him. My job in this season is to give him all of me and He’s going shape and purify me into the woman he has created me to be. I am literally getting a makeover from the inside out.

I have my own business that is just coming off the ground, Faithfully Destressed. I guess I can say I am full time home organizer. I love my gift for organizing that God placed inside of me. The ability to transform homes and reinvent spaces brings me so much joy and fulfilment. I also love to model so I’m doing some of that as well.  I have a mission statement created by financial advisor that I read daily to remind me of my “why” and my gifts, “I was created to bless and heal the world by helping people to organize their homes, offices, etc., so they can work, rest, and live more comfortably and efficiently. Beauty heals and inspires especially when it is lived from the inside out and yes, I can definitely make money while doing this work.”

I still worry at times about how God is going to provide and take care of my bills. I still go back and forth about if I should be applying to jobs. I still get anxiety when God tells me to give when I know I only have about $10 in my pocket. But I have committed myself to being obedient to him even when it doesn’t make sense. Faith doesn’t make sense, and if it did would we really need God?

I get so much anxiety when I go on job sites and I know it’s because most of the time I don’t see anything I’m interested in. I use to beat myself up about this but I heard one of my favorite speakers, Lisa Bevere say,” Maybe the reason you don’t know what you want to do is because God has called you to do something that’s never been done before?” This changed my entire perspective. Who said I can’t be a full time home organizer, model and inspirational writer? To be honest, I’ve said it. Because I haven’t seen it done before. But sometimes what you don’t see can distract you from what you are capable of. #issaword.

I know this blog is longer than normal but I know my story will help someone. I just want to encourage you from my faith journey. Faith doesn’t make sense at all, but if it did….would we really need God?